Cv Critique Enthusiasts Gifts

"...The only slight drawback is - he knows nothing about engineering."

"I see by your resume that you're having trouble finding work because you pad your resume."

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

'Does anyone else have any complaints?'

Master's Degrees of the Universe

'Sorry, we can't offer you a job but we would like to publish your CV.'

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

"I can see from your résumé that you're a man."

"I don't see any mention of quicksand skills on your resume."

'Interesting resume, would you mind if I kept it overnight? I'd like to take it home with me...and scare the living daylight out of my kids.'

"Where would you say you are on the confidence/cockiness spectrum?"

"Yes, I suppose attention seeking may be considered by some as an asset, but frankly we need more than that."

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

"I'd like your honest, unbiased and possibly career-ending opinion on something."

'Call this one -I like short resumes.'

"According to your resume, your last three employers are some of the biggest crime families on the eastern seaboard. I don't know what position you've applied for, but welcome to the company."

'You're overqualified, and we under pay. It evens out. Welcome aboard, Barnes.'

"Your CV is very impressive. We're interested in the person who wrote it."

'I see by your resume that you're toilet-trained.'

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

"You could do a lot worse then be good at football... I know... some people have to settle for politics."

Time Slavery.

'I love your resume. Is it fiction, non-fiction, or plagiarized from the internet?'

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

'Your evaluation is based on what you do in the next 30 seconds. Go!'

'We still have a few other people we'd like to interview before deciding on who will fill the position, Mr. Prescott.'

'Your resume says that you were self employed and then you were fired?'

'If I'd known you were looking for someone without experience, I wouldn't have exaggerated my abilities.'

"My biggest strength would probably be my giant chicken legs."

'About this cv of yours...' - 'You can skip over the part about the potty training.'