Customs Comedies Gifts

Border Guard

"Shootout at the Soapy Canal"

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"Would anyone like to say any final words about Carl from accounting?"

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

"For a list of the ways artificial intelligence is killing your job, please press one."

IRS, 'You filed your tax return two days late -- Why do you hate America?'

I hate these he shed, she shed cases.

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

'Arghhh! He's got no face!'

"When you take the oath don't worry. There's a lightning rod on the roof."

"This is the worst gum disease I've ever seen...I'd suggest you eat more vegetarians."

'To put it in simple English, all you have to do is put a few drops...

"Last night we watched three movies back to back. I was the one facing the telly."

We hadn't realised your body language was French....

Bunny TV.

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

Expired, expired, expired, expired, expired, expired.

'That is the last time we will ask an actor to cut a cake.'

"Mmm...yes...scrumptious—I think we got it all."

'Tell me again why we are afraid of chairs.'

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

American's Funniest Tax Decuctions

'When you said the tractor was down, I thought...'

'Hi. I'm Don.'

"'You're a work boot' my mother said. 'Don't ever marry a loafer' she said, but did I listen???"

"That was a feel-good movie. How come I don't feel so good?"

"We have a fund with a new, advanced financial strategy but it hasn't been tested on humans.''