Custody Warrior Gifts

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Privacy - Surveillance

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

Big Brother.

Information about information about information about information.

'Since PRISM, nothing is 'off the record' any more.'

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

Information Security

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

Baby with a full diaper 'Load Rage'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'Maybe we can rob Peter AND Paul.'

Man disposes of baby's nappy in a toxin waste bin.

''Honor thy father and thy mother'? -- What about custody disputes?'

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

"And do you promise to love, honour, and give me all your personal information that I can pass on to third parties..."

Enraged by Wikileaks reports of CIA domestic surveillance via home electronics, Della Dinkerbonker fights back.

The Eternal Battle Over Who Is More Tired

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

A New New World Order

"The custody battle could go on for months, and cost you a small fortune. Why don't you just buy yourself ANOTHER dog?"

'Guess what? The judge awarded ME custody in today's two child custody cases!'

'Here, take this. It came in handy when I used to change your nappy.'

'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'

"Another company thinks I might like to keep receiving their emails!"

Kitchen Appliances Fed Up With The Baby.

Tug of war.

"Don't worry! I'm a very experienced babysitter."

'We've come to invade your privacy.'

'I got custody of the kids.'

"Okay, these are the documents we need to sue your ex for child support, and if we can convince the court it's not too out off line, to have the words, 'lying, cheating b*****d' tattooed on his forehead."

Guardianship of minors

Internet surveillance