'Great news, honey-bunny. My divorce finally came through, and I got the kids.'
Custody Connoisseur Gifts
Looking for a thoughtful gift for the custody connoisseur in your life? Our collection celebrates those who manage and nurture with wit and warmth. From funny mugs to stylish prints, find something that honors their caring spirit and keen sense of responsibility. Whether they’re a professional or an enthusiast, our products add a touch of humor and heart to their daily routine, making their role both appreciated and celebrated.
'Your wife gets custody of the children, and you get custody of the babysitter.'
Bookworm Sleepover
"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"
"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"
"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."
"This seat with extra legroom is great."
"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."
Electric Blanket.
"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"
'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'
"They remove people who have become 'jammed in armchairs' due to COVID 19 lockdown!"
'Idle' Home Exhibition
Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'
"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."
"I hope he's wearing pants."
Who's a cutey?
Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'
Second aid
Bats with blankets.
"I suffered a stroke."
'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'
"Uh oh, here come more regulations."
"They've got insulation to die for!"
"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."
"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."
'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'
"You're stealing the blanket."
"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."
"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"
"Don’t call the fire department — this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years."
"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."
A tailor measuring a jacket.
"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"
'The fire seems to be drawing well.'
Custody Connoisseur Gifts Collection
Custody Connoisseur Mugs
Explore our full range of custody connoisseur mugs, designed to bring personality and humor to everyday moments of caring.
Custody Connoisseur Pillows
Discover our cozy pillows for custody connoisseurs, blending comfort with clever designs that celebrate their caring nature.
Custody Connoisseur Prints
Browse our engaging prints that honor custody connoisseurs with creative and stylish artwork, ideal for decorating their space with personality.
Custody Connoisseur T-Shirts
Check out our collection of custody connoisseur t-shirts — witty, stylish, and perfect for those who take their nurturing seriously.