Custody Arrangements Gifts

"You just wait until your father gets parental access."

"Gee, I'd love to, but that's the weekend my father gets me."

"Son, do you remember 43 years ago when I agreed to become a weekend dad...?"

"Just because mummy and daddy are divorcing, it doesn't mean we don't still value you as a significant asset."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Bathroom Fairy

"Not guilty?"

Whittler's Mother.

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

Superintendent

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

"You may be the CEO, but I control the thermostat in your office."

'I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for school custodian.'

Conan the Custodian.

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

''Honor thy father and thy mother'? -- What about custody disputes?'

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

The Ultimate Green Office!

Man throws his burger wrapper into the trash.

Cleaner, scrubs floor with her name plate in front of her.

"Oh heck, it’s going to be a long night, someone’s pressed the golden buzzer."

A janitor stomps on, mops up and bottles some grapes to make "Truly Affordable Beaujolais".