Custody Arrangements Gifts

"You just wait until your father gets parental access."

"Gee, I'd love to, but that's the weekend my father gets me."

"Son, do you remember 43 years ago when I agreed to become a weekend dad...?"

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!"

Bathroom Fairy

"Not guilty?"

Whittler's Mother.

'I want to find out what the formula was I wrote yesterday on the blackboard and was erased by the custodian.'

"If you need anything in the building, just call the super. This is the only known photo of him."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"After being shorted on his bonus, Earl the maintenance man decided to remove all the toilet paper from the executive washrooms."

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"And to think NASA hit a target 11 million kilometres away."

"It's just me, the algae-eater. Mind if I tidy up a bit in here?"

"You got custody of us, mommy, because you're the very best attorney picker."

Superintendent

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'Access to the kids? No. I want access to the audio equipment.'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'Oh no, green waxy build up.'

'I had no idea there was a Nobel Prize for school custodian.'

"You may be the CEO, but I control the thermostat in your office."

Conan the Custodian.

"It's the super - he says a lot of short American fiction has been clogging the pipes in the basement."

'I'm afraid your child support payments will be quite substantial.'

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

''Honor thy father and thy mother'? -- What about custody disputes?'

Cleaner, scrubs floor with her name plate in front of her.

"Oh heck, it’s going to be a long night, someone’s pressed the golden buzzer."

'I got the key to the executive bathroom. They made me the official custodian.'

Emin's bed, tidied up.

"The custody battle could go on for months, and cost you a small fortune. Why don't you just buy yourself ANOTHER dog?"

Man throws his burger wrapper into the trash.