Cushion Hoarder Gifts

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"Yes Sir, we have secret storage locations all over the forest, so we can safely manage your favourite bone and toy..."

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

I don't trust banks. I keep some of my money right here. It's prudent to have a financial cushion.

"It's the dog."

"I brought my worn out shoes because I heard that confession was good for the sole!"

'It was a gift.'

"Our cautions to the wind dear?.. I said let's throw our CAUTIONS to the wind."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"You know your dog better than I do."

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

You know you're getting old when....

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

"Just two more outfits. . .Then I'll jump."

He lost his cushy job. They gave him six months severance - and his favourite cushion.

Professor Lars P. Olafson. Inventor of the scatter cushion.

"And this was before you plumped the cushions, or after?"

'The furniture store next, I'm going to need a larger wardrobe.'

"Diversification doesn't mean hiding the money under the mattress, the sofa and 2 chairs!"

Recycling bins for glass, paper, metal and IDEAS.

"A few more decorative pillow and I won't have to make the bed."

"Where did you say you got your scatter cushions from?"

'I tell you what, it's much more comfortable with a cushion...'

'He's so proud of his art collection.'

I'm taking no chances tonight! (Floor lined with cushions ready for when he falls off his stool).

'New dog?' - 'Yes, and no more food bills, no vets fees.'

'I'm just looking for a cushion job.'

If you find any change between the cushions, it's mine.

"Happiness is a soft cushion."

"Collects his paper every morning - regular as clockwork!"