Cushion Stasher Gifts

I don't trust banks. I keep some of my money right here. It's prudent to have a financial cushion.

'Don't look at me!'

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"Your portfolio is too conservative."

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

The sofa freshly made up...

"There really is such a thing as having too many pillows."

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'My husband, Bill, works at the airport - I still haven't opened my birthday presents from three years ago.'

'My power ties are demanding more closet space.'

Carrots on sticks wardrobe.

"Have you seen the walk-in broom closet?"

"That's it! You've watched TV out here long enough! We need to spend more family time together! I'm putting this thing in the closet!"

"Our cautions to the wind dear?.. I said let's throw our CAUTIONS to the wind."

"You know your dog better than I do."

'With these crazy markets, you have to diversify to protect your money. Put some under your mattress, some in your sock drawer, maybe some in a hole in the yard...'

Darn it, you're touching my half of the love seat again.

You know you're getting old when....

"And this was before you plumped the cushions, or after?"

He lost his cushy job. They gave him six months severance - and his favourite cushion.

His and Hers Wardrobe.

Professor Lars P. Olafson. Inventor of the scatter cushion.

'Maybe you could get dressed faster if you lost that speed bump around your waist.'

"Diversification doesn't mean hiding the money under the mattress, the sofa and 2 chairs!"

"It's more than just a mattress. It's a great place to rest your weary assets."

"Oh, Harold! This is too nice!"

Spent it all on decorator pillows.

"A few more decorative pillow and I won't have to make the bed."

"I can totally see why dogs do this."

'We need a place with more closet space.'

'I tell you what, it's much more comfortable with a cushion...'

"Where did you say you got your scatter cushions from?"

I'm taking no chances tonight! (Floor lined with cushions ready for when he falls off his stool).

...Meanwhile, over at the pillow factory...