Curriculum Reformer Gifts

Critical Thinking....

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'Home Schooling'

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Budget

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"How do you feel about working a four-day week?"

'Lessons have been learned.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

New dunce caps

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

End school zone. Start unschool zone.

'I think our mission statement should mention scholarship and attendance.'

'Today in school we learned how to blame everything on the United States!'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'He has a learning disability all right - television!'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

Kate's first task as new principal was to right a number of wrongs.