Curriculum Reform Advocate Gifts

'My grades could be better if the school had a data driven, evidence based curriculum in the classroom.'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

Coronavirus Impact on Children

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Budget

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

'Lessons have been learned.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

6th Grade Do-You-Own Research Fair

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

New dunce caps

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

I channeled John Dewey. He says if you want to be a good teacher, don't teach reading and writing. Teach students.

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

'Today in school we learned how to blame everything on the United States!'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

'He has a learning disability all right - television!'

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

"How do we make sure the students' voices are heard, but get them to be quiet at the same time?"

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

Elections in German - If 'The Greens' come to power. . .

"What's the point of school? We can just look all this stuff up on wikipedia."

Truth In Education

'She's the only girl in her home economics class.'