Current Events Fanatic Pillows

"Do you think the 'Taliban' is: (a) a cellphone company; (b) a deodorant (c) a terrorist company

"We're gonna be rid of this terrible virus very, very soon....."

"The Stock Market closed down early tody in reaction to Joe Biden's latest gaffe...."

Schengen

British savings accounts

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

Israel/Palestine Conflict

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Turkish Democracy

Mission Kinda Accomplished

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

Roe v. Wade

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

Russia Money Laundering

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Armageddon

Twitter censorship

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Fifty shades of Leveson.

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

"New court filings. Totally clears the President. Thank you." "Actually, sir, it, uh, says you did crime and might go to jail."

"You don't even need to lie down on the therapy couch! Any therapy would be totally senseless, Mr. Putin!"

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'What I have to do first?!'

"It's a complicated time for needle phobics."