Current Events Fanatic Gifts

"Do you think the 'Taliban' is: (a) a cellphone company; (b) a deodorant (c) a terrorist company

Not Caring About Your Life is Cheating

"We're gonna be rid of this terrible virus very, very soon....."

"The Stock Market closed down early tody in reaction to Joe Biden's latest gaffe...."

Schengen

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

British savings accounts

Build your very own conflict of interest!

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Government a la Carte

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

Our Two Parties, Explained

Turkish Democracy

Mission Kinda Accomplished

Armageddon

Roe v. Wade

Matryoshka/ Russian Gas Cylinders

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

Russia Money Laundering

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

Twitter censorship

"New court filings. Totally clears the President. Thank you." "Actually, sir, it, uh, says you did crime and might go to jail."

Fifty shades of Leveson.

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

'What I have to do first?!'

Billions for Terrorists, No Tribute to Americans

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."