Current Events Nerd Pillows

Donald Trump v. Nickelback

British savings accounts

Schengen

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Build your very own conflict of interest!

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

National Everything Awareness Day

Israel/Palestine Conflict

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

Health Advisory: Flint Water has lead, Ann Arbor water has dioxane.

"Congratulations, Trumpism. It's ot often we initiate a new horseman."

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

Turkish Democracy

Government a la Carte

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Russia Money Laundering

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

Armageddon

Roe v. Wade

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"Rescue...we've come to join you."

Twitter censorship

"You don't even need to lie down on the therapy couch! Any therapy would be totally senseless, Mr. Putin!"

Billions for Terrorists, No Tribute to Americans

Denazification

'Apologists today said little white lies -- but not the big lie -- may have played a part in Iraq Policies....'

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

'Not a word to Alfred, but the spare bedroom is worth losing the fourteen pounds!'

Sybil Obama

"New court filings. Totally clears the President. Thank you." "Actually, sir, it, uh, says you did crime and might go to jail."