Curmudgeon Lovers Pillows

"Another p**s and vinegar?"

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"I'd like to see him try that on the leg press."

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'How's the curry?'

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

The morning after the night before.

'How's the curry?.'

Plane Yogurt.

"I can see that you're a cultured individual..."

'I know we had some good time together, Muriel, but a permanent relationship is out.'

"Sometimes, on days like this, I feel like the world is conspiring to make me happy."

Low fat diets.

Uncle Murray Weekly

'I told you not to have that curry.'

I HATE STUFF

Foodie Bank

'It started yesterday, after I had a strong curry.'

"We're cooking the books."

Victorian Children's Party

'I guess it's OK for a guy to eat your yogurt during a game instead of drinking beer - but light yogurt?'

"Careful it's hot."

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

Clinker Built Dinghy Made Entirely of Custard

'I see your Alan's got his Christmas face on again.'

'I'm not here!'

'Sunnyside down.'

"Even your sleep is curmudgeonly."