Curmudgeon Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Curmudgeon Man

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

"He was a grouch when I met him. It was love at first gripe."

The Frankenstein snowman.

Tasty.

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

'The meat of their order is coming up.'

'Next time you feel like keeping in touch, keep in touch with somebody else.'

"When you said you were high up in the the music business..."

Postman walking away from mailbox after putting mail in. Sounds of it eating can be heard.

"Here's your water, locally sourced from the restroom."

"One thing I can tell you - it's not covid."

I'm afraid of Chia Pets, doctor. Actually, Al, so am I. Either you're getting well, or I'm going nuts.

Love Tap

'Mr. Gridley writes blurbs for tombstones.'

Man with Cat on his Head

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Piano Prompt

There's not a lot of work for Sidewaysman.

Mom $50 Pop $35

"She's genetically modified, you know."

Trapeze artist leaves sign saying 'I quit'!

"Promise me that you'll donate my body to banana bread."

Whilst a dog is weeing at the base of a tree, a squirrel wees at the entrance of it's dog house.

'Which dog is named 'BOGART'?'