Cup-o'-joe Crusher Gifts

"I figure I should be able to finish repaying my loan in about 50 years."

'Okay, ladies! We're not just going to burn those calories, we're going to drown them!'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

'Last guy that worked here did nothing but complain.'

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

'If you don't mind, my sales manager wanted me to call him the second you took the hook.'

'Well, we made it.'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

'Would you like something from the trolley doctor ? '

'75% of our resources are spent dealing with the elderly and infirm...and that's just the STAFF!'

"Flavor? It's 'let me drink my first cup before I stab you in the eyes' flavor."

"It's make it or break it time. All in favor of breaking it?"

"You've hit your goals so well that I wanted to bring by your Christmas bonus."

Hitting a Brick Wall.

"How's your blogging going?"

Woman walking through a bakery with blinkers on.

Exercise for fat people.

'I've never met a salesperson I didn't like... except, of course, for you people.'

"One man's trash is another man's treasure. But in your case, another man's trash is ow your trash."

Banker Nightmares.

STRIP Hambone: Unpaid electric bill

"I just gave her 100 Candy Crush lives so she won't be seeing anybody for a while."

"No, you can't be anything you want when you grow up. You're a moose."

'As our new Sales Associate, you'll be on straight commission plus unemployment.'

'Sorry, Alexander just has to be top at everything!'

Bug-Cam.

Coffee Machine: Out of Order