Cup Gifting Guru T-Shirts

'It was between you and Fergy, but he gave me this 'World's Greatest Boss' cup, so it's you that's out.'

Beach con-man.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

'They're dog roses!'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Santa called but you were out!

It's a busy mother's day down there! The glucose molecule got his mom a box of sweets, the histamine brought flowers ... A sodium atom got bath salts, and the genes had a family portrait taken. Frank, the neuron didn't get a gift for his mother. No, he didn't but he always sends a nice message!

'You brought gold? I thought we agreed to a twenty dollar limit?'

Regifts of the Magi

"I'll match donations when you match my tax payments."

Valentines Day truck

C'mon, help me out! Which rock do you think my kids would like better?

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Mother using candy cane to pull son away from toy window.

"...And don't forget to include the receipts!"

'Last week I got a lovely watch for my wife!'

'I hope you came with a receipt.'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

Honey badger do care.

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

'Year after year I play Santa, and I still don't know how to give.'

inflation at Christmas

'What can you suggest for a young lady who thinks she has everything?'

"Do you have all those things in stock?"

Gift Ideas. What I get for a man who already has everything? Insurance!

'I like going to parties - invited or not.'

'My holiday season: A rich tradition of belated giving and premature babbling.'

"I'm sorry, but until you tell me what you do want for Christmas, you'll keep on getting cats."

"Just tell us what wedding gifts you want and we stuff the appropriate advertising flyers in with the invitation."

Santa carrying a sack full of mail

'We're giving you one big present for your birthday and Christmas.'

"If you're looking for something more expensive we can always raise the price?"

"I want to get him something for Christmas he's never had before."