Imaginative Gift Giver T-Shirts

'No, I won't pay $200 for a silk top hat for your snowman!'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'They're dog roses!'

Christmas Presents.

"Shouldn't have, you really."

This year Mike decides to make his own Valentine's cards.

"Remember when we talked about how you send mixed messages. . ."

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

"Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday dear Fred, Sam, Brian, John, Walter, Jeff...."

Kid Hints To Santa That He Wants A Bicycle For Christmas

How the gift registry should really work

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'Hand these out to the workforce.'

'I'd be more impressed that you bought me flowers if you didn't take a job as a delivery boy to get the employee discount.'

"Do you have a Venus Fly Trap?"

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

Fast Food Menus

"You don't think rum-filled centers would give his officers the wrong impression?"

The Penultimate Temptation of Christ

'He's not leaving, but if we collect enough, he might.'

inflation at Christmas

"A birthday gift card? Really?"

'The mice gave me this present. Lovely gesture.'

"I want to get him something for Christmas he's never had before."

'Honey, I really think last year's very generous Christmas gift absolves me from saying hi each time he delivers the mail.'

"Baby's First Book of Retirement Planning...?"

Last-Minute Gifts

Roo felt a little cheated with his new Christmas present.

"What?! You wanted an Easter egg, and this is one!"

A panhandler with a sign that reads "If not me, who? If not now, when?"

"Mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse, mouse."

She collected ceramic pigs. Only one so far, but even that was one too many.

"Christ on a bike. Again. Again with the electric shaver."