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"The town has no history, Signore. It was built from scratch three years ago, entirely for the tourist trade."

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"A conundrum, rather than an outright mess, I think, Mrs Ellis..."

Mysteries.

Missing Easter Egg

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

"Any truth to the rumor that your book is ghost-written?"

Egyptian Library: 'Every week you take out the same book, Anubis.'

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

Whodunits

'What the hell is this the age of?'

I CAME. I FOLLOWED. I COMMENTED. I SHARED.

Mutant Mootunes - Incased in Ice Miss Marple

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

Conflicting Reports

"Good news, Grossman. As of today, short sleeves are O.K. around the office."

'Cops and Rubbers.'

Reporter #2: plant.

Reporter at a crime scene.

"Clues, Watson? How can I find clues when all I see is germs?"

Anti-Vaxxers aren't stupid. They just need to be convinced!

'I'm working on an upgrade of the computer, "Watson." I'll call it "Holmes".'

You can always tell a good book by its libel.

Stolen Crime Books.

"It's old Mister Banks, the wealthy, establishment art figure!"

It's a dreadful affair, Watson. Flagrant failure to use the poopy bins.

"Watson - look! The Cheshire cat burglar!"

'I'm not paying for another misspelling, and give me back the rhngchtanza!'

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"

'I'll take the case,' I said. Or did I? I fear I'm no longer able to differentiate between interior and exterior monologue.'

"Come back when you're sober, and we'll see if you still have that double vision."

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