Culinary Whiz Gifts

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

'Should I start the launch sequence?' 'Excuse me.' 'You hungry? Should I start dinner?'

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

"Then one evening I mentioned to Richard how much I enjoy his cooking."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"I come here for the pepper."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

"Ooooooh, just what I wanted!"

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

Toast: the high energy food

Baker Romance

Full English Breakfast.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

'I was in the catering corps.'

Restaurant Chef with book titled: 'Introduction To Cooking'.