Kitchen Whiz Gifts

Mother has jumper with NO written in big letters on the back.

The perfect man

'The toaster is simply broken - I didn't enable a pop-up blocker.'

'Merde ! Zey 'av called in Jamie Oliver.'

'No need for the Fancy Dress - you've only boiled me an egg.'

'Can you cook too?'

Toast: the high energy food

"Come now, Gracie! Squash is a great vegetable...it can be fried, sliced, baked, steamed or boiled...before you refuse to eat it."

Tupperware Wolf

"And this smart kitchen gadget coordinates and disciplines all your other smart kitchen gadgets."

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Lady of the Cake.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Domestic Goddess.

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Multi-tasking.

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

Hamlet's struggle with online shopping addiction. To eBay or not to eBay.

Too much cilantro

A Day In The Kitchen

'This computer has a fast modem, the latest Pentium, increased RAM, a huge hard drive and broadband connections. Only one problem...slow pointer fingers.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'Yep,that's it Mr.White. And NOW go, Control-Alt-Delete, then re-enter.'

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Cake Friday!

'WE use these computers to gather and organise data for our school district and, on a slow day, to play solitaire.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

'My dog ate my computer.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance