Culinary Techie Gifts

'Teleport the salt, please.'

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

"That's not the pepper grinder. That's Alexa."

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

Counting ribs

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

GMOs: The Next Generation

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

"Give my compliments to the Biotech industry"

'Who ordered the shark?.' '

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

Culinary surgery.

'All tests point to the same conclusion: it is indeed a big banana.'

'Hard or soft science?'

"Not bad, but it has a sort of plastic aftertaste."

"I don't think you're genetically modifying these foods at all. I think you're just putting googly eyes on fruit."

"Pie chart"

"A little lamb please."

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

'I used to have a regular restaurant, but it kept burning down.'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

Artificial Isle

"At last! Something that goes well with us!"

People were amazed by the dexterity of the automatic pizza-making machine.

"The woman who ordered the poulet chasseur would like to come in and rap about it."