Culinary Soothsayer T-Shirts

'How will my turkey turn out his year?'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"How's everything here? Let's start with your earliest childhood memories."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"First you make a roux."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"Things were going along great with Greg and me, and then the 'Diceman' returned."

I mean, do I set the oven at 400'? 450'? How long do I keep them in? Do I turn them halfway through cooking? Oh, if only children came with instructions.

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

Chef makes a cook book.

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

'What did you say?' - 'I was talking to my broccoli.'

"To beat or not to beat."

Health Regime Change: No Fry Zone

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

'Yourplace.com or mine?'

Wow. That WAS a lot faster.

Food Blog

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

'Are you going to say Grace, Sir, or shall I?'