Culinary Soothsayer Gifts

'How will my turkey turn out his year?'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

"Steak, Richard, is just grown up veal."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"First you make a roux."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"I can't remember if I'm off red meat, or eating nothing but red meat."

Last Will and Testament: Salt, Pepper, Tarragon, Garlic.

'Not only do you need a good dish to win on this cooking show, you need a good story!'

Chef makes a cook book.

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

'What did you say?' - 'I was talking to my broccoli.'

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

"To beat or not to beat."

Food Blog

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

'Yourplace.com or mine?'

Health Regime Change: No Fry Zone

"Yes, I can certainly recommend the lamb - everything else has gone."

'We don't have menus, sir - the chef thinks they're counterproductive.'

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that,'

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"