Culinary Wisdom T-Shirts

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Soup of the month.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Garden.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

Too much cilantro

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"I come here for the pepper."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

I love Cannelloni

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Holiday Supplies

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Please don't kill me."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

this bordeaux speaks for itself