Culinary Cautious T-Shirts

"Please don't kill me."

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

Soup of the month.

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Garden.

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Too much cilantro

"I specialise in themed dinners 'Titanic', 'Armageddon' , 'Towering Inferno'..."

I love Cannelloni

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

Holiday Supplies

'It's my favorite.'

The Origins of Everything

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

The ecumenical dinner party.

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

"I'm unable to process this image."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

'As far as we know, no one who has eaten our genetically-modified food has turned into a creature or anything.'

The perfect man

Funky Chef 2