Culinary Wisdom Pillows

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Soup of the month.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Garden.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I come here for the pepper."

Too much cilantro

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Full English Breakfast.

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Holiday Supplies

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

I love Cannelloni

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"Please don't kill me."

"That's a plain burger and black coffee? But what kind of plain burger and what kind of black coffee?"

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'