Culinary Quirk Pillows

"My parents are really upset. I'm dating a guy who's not microwave and dishwasher safe."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Bangers and Mash

'I think I'll go home and eat'

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

'How is the water prepared?'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Stupid Microwave

Amy Sedaris

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Kentucky Fried Horse

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"Tastes great, less killing!"

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"Hi, Honey. For dinner we're having Shis Kabob."

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'Today's special is yesterday's left-overs.'

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'Ralph, I'm gonna' need wings on the fly!'

"That's a toaster. It's a tanning bed for bread."

Artichoking victim

"It's something I made myself - chocolate covered veggies."

'White beetroot?' 'I bleached them.'

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Hell's Kitchen specials: Lawyer thermador, barrister kabobs, litigator flambe, attorney tartare.