Culinary Philosophers T-Shirts

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

View to the Future

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

Too much cilantro

"Is the MSG local?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

The Origins of Everything

Countervailing Clichés.

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."