Culinary Philosophers Gifts

Yesterday we touched on a controversial topic. We referred to guacamole as a condiment. We recognize these are various schools of thought. Some believe it to be a meal, or side dish. America can sustain different views. It's not like sauerkraut, which is clearly a vegetable. What? Are you insane? I will pummel you! Communist!

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Too much cilantro

"Is the MSG local?"

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"It's good to know she was butchered for a noble cause."

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

Countervailing Clichés.

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

The Origins of Everything

"To paraphrase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure without pain au chocolat."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'