Culinary Monk Gifts

"Namasteak"

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Quartet of chefs.

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"It's ok -- It's the Enlightenment Channel."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

Running shoes? You have the wrong idea about "fasting," Brother Ernest!

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'Is it organic?'

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

Whoa, easy on the details, brother! This may be shrunk down for an e-book someday.

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

Spatula Conductor

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

'I invited God to be one of my friends on Facebook and he's turned me down!'

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

The most popular Sunday at St Clive's was always the annual 'Blessing of the Smartphones' service.

Computer literate Monk

"O.K., God – please delete everything I said today."

Gracebook.

Pray as you Go.

Gordon Ramsay

"I'm sorry it's not what you ordered, but the chef works in mysterious ways."

Wow. That was a lot faster. (Published originally on October 20, 2011.)

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

'Today's sermon is from St. Matthew, Chapter Five....'

Woman planning dinner party.