Culinary Horror Fan Gifts

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

Transylvanian backpackers.

"You do realize I'm going to have to bill you for ten?"

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

"Are your eel rolls electric?"

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Silence of the Chickens...

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

Open House of Horrors

Frankenstein's Monster's PC.

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

Monsters looking for a new bed to move under.

"There's a loose string on your sweater, dear, but I'm afraid to pull it."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

Zombie Problems

Frankenstein's Reading Light

'Frankendumpty'

'Regular or decapitated?'

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

'I'll be the back yard cutting firewood. Have you seen my protective goggles?. . .Well, luckily I kept my old hockey mask!'

"Yeah, uh, maybe you're not cut out to be the 'sparkly' kind of vampire."

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

"OSHA is going to hear about this!"

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

'And so you can imagine our surprise when we discovered our hall closet was the gateway to hell!'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

"Meow...."

"Are we going with scary clown? Or just plain old spooky?"

"Excuse me, do you folks believe in ghosts?"