Culinary Experiments Pillows

Dorothy instantly regretted asking Barry if he had enjoyed her special 'Birthday Curry' recipe

"I mixed antacid tablets into the meatloaf so you won't get heartburn."

Zombie Chocolate Pudding.

Rustic. . .The word you use when the recipe goes wrong.

Dave enjoyed crackers in his soup.

Lockdown sandwiches

"We had sex in our kitchen the other day. . . the egg-timer was broken. . . !"

'You was right, Ma! It makes rocks taste a LOT better!'

'Careful. Janet's Broccoli Bean casserole is so lethal, Al-Qaeda's looking for the recipe!'

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

Okay, I've got one vanilla, one chocolate...and who gets the sour blueberry cherry creme licorice bomb?

"What are you making, Tia Carmen?"

Fine, next time we'll only get banana on half. Pizza.

Your usual ginseng pumpernickel ostrich-sweat latte? No thanks. I wanna try something different today. The pecan praline white chocolate mocha's also good. Ooh, that sounds good. I'll have one of those. But can you substitute macadamia nut for the pecan? That'll take some work, but it's doable. Thank you. and can you substitute turkey tears for the praline? Turkey tears sound good. And can you substitute pureed bagel for the mocha? Pureed bagel sounds lovely. I see where this is going. And can y

Future world records

"Alice! The kebabs are ready!"

Food-Snob Fear Factor

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Circa 1928, The Reese's Candy laboratory.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Before/After

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!