Culinary Chic Gifts

Fruit Bonnet

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

A heart shaped cake

"You're the lid to my pot."

Soup of the month.

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Garden.

Too much cilantro

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Lockdown casserole

A couple dressed as a knife and a fork

I love Cannelloni

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

Holiday Supplies

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

'How is the water prepared?'

"Please don't kill me."

Baloneystini

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"Oh, but we could be so good together...!"

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Wedding Chefs

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

The perfect man

"Cut down on the pumpkin spice."