Culinary Gifts

"Oh, it's the best thing since small-batch, artisanal, unsliced bread."

For some unknown reason, there were no takers for the Flavor-of-the-Month in June.

'Well, yes, son, technically they are right when they call you a 'heel'. But remember, it's not who you are on the outside, it's what you taste like on the inside.'

Signs in supermarket - 'gulp', 'guzzle', 'graze'.

'I'm afraid you're mistaken sir, this isn't a gastro pub.'

"There's no fly in my soup!"

'Do you want me to get the fish bone out, or not?'

"While you've been making your mind up, the Early Bird special when up three bucks."

Jimmy Buffett at 100: Margarityville nursing home: 'Where's my dadburn cheeseburger!'

'...may I suggest that you stick to the English version of the menu!' - Man accidently orders a turbo-charged wheel barrow with a flat tyre filled with nuclear waste.

Immature cheese pulling a face

"I'll be the best side dish ever."

'Today's special is yesterday's soup of the day!'

'You cook just like my mother. Lousy!'

The perfect man

Cheese Shop

"The receipe? From shutupandeatit dot com."

"In the heart of battle, as you stare down death! That is how sausage is made!"

"No, no, no, my wife said she'll have a quiche!"

Salt and pepper

'They certainly know how to charge!'

Grocery Shopping.

"The next time I ask you what you want for dinner don't say, 'surprise me'."

Bed or breakfast.

Garden.

Diner giving shirt off his back to waiter on receipt of bill.

Young Professional Recipe Test

"I see the businessman's lunch is up 50p."

"The cooker's broken, we'll have to eat out."

'We don't have any specials today. However, all entrees featuring ingredients known to cause cancer in laboratory animals are half price.

Brian strongly believes in free movement

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

Truffles for Sale

"All you can eat sushi."

"Is there something wrong with your food?"