Culinary Arts Gifts

The Holy Trinity: Salt, Butter and Sugar.

Welcome to the Museum of One's Kitchen

"I was in a different place then."

Faith-Based Tuna Casserole

Pharmacy Closed. . . Chicken Soup.

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

Chicken and the Food Pyramid,

Data Processing Center.

"I do feel a lot better since we switched to the trans-fat free oil."

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Bake Shop / Crack Co-cake $10.

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

"I'm sorry, but I can't sell you one until you give me the correct pronunciation."

Little chef.

"Once he invented the wheel, it was only a matter of time before he came up with the food truck."

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'

'Waiting for the pancake to come down.'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'What can you give me for my liver?' 'A pound of onions!'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Your meal will be out shortly. The salmon was a little wilder than we anticipated."

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

"She's my hero. Life gave her lemons and she came up with pomegranate cranberry lemonade."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"