Culinary Arts Gifts

The Holy Trinity: Salt, Butter and Sugar.

Welcome to the Museum of One's Kitchen

Pharmacy Closed. . . Chicken Soup.

Faith-Based Tuna Casserole

"I was in a different place then."

"Even more dangerous than crossing the road is being undercooked."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'We're going to look pretty stupid if it's not a Michelin star.'

"Tell him I can still hear him chewing."

Chicken and the Food Pyramid,

Data Processing Center.

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

"I do feel a lot better since we switched to the trans-fat free oil."

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Bake Shop / Crack Co-cake $10.

Keith Floyd.

"It's a good idea to tip first. That way I know what level of service you expect."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'Waiting for the pancake to come down.'

"Once he invented the wheel, it was only a matter of time before he came up with the food truck."

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Little chef.

"I'm sorry, but I can't sell you one until you give me the correct pronunciation."

'I dunno. Maybe we need a new slogan.'

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'What can you give me for my liver?' 'A pound of onions!'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'The recipe said to simmer uncovered!'

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'