Culinary Quirky Gifts

'How is the water prepared?'

"One B.L.T., one cherry pie, and one bowl of chili with crackers on the side!"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

Kentucky Fried Horse

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

Cheese Secret

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

"Don't tell him anything."

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

'Creme brulee! You're the best Mum!'

Roadkill Restaurant

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'Guys, I think this is one of those 'let it go' moments in life when you have to relax and just trust the processor!'

Chernobyl Chow

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Salvador Deli

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"And the insect du-jour, is that served in the soup or on the side?"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'Killing two birds with one stone...bacon coffee.'