Culinary Chemist T-Shirts

"Then bake at 375 for forty-five minutes."

'I thought chemistry experiments were after lunch.'

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

'What's in the packet?'

"I mixed antacid tablets into the meatloaf so you won't get heartburn."

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"Excuse me, sir! Do these vegetables have any dangerous additives?"

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Gracie, today I'm teaching you a Bermudez family tradition...passed down from generation to generation! Vamonos! Out! Now!"

Industrial Chemicals: Cake Mix, Soup, Juice Drinks.

"Take on an empty stomach? Don't you have anything I can take with food?"

"It's all down to turmeric!"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"You're the lid to my pot."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

6 Brothers Falafel

Soup of the month.

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Picking pastries.

"Rump roast?"

Cookbooks

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Garden.

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"