Culinary Scientists T-Shirts

"I'm studying the effects of prolonged radiation exposure on a panzerotti."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

Counting ribs

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

6 Brothers Falafel

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Rump roast?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Picking pastries.

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

'He's trying to put some magic into my recipes.'

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

"These things are delicious. Hard and crunchy on the outside, soft and chewy on the inside!"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'