Culinary Calamitizer Gifts

Firemen called to a cooking accident.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Roasted

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

Disaster in the kitchen.

Bake off: Flan B

'My hero!'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Leak Soup. No, it's not a misspelling. The roof dripped into the casserole.

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'That's weird. All this fortune cookie says is 'look out!''

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

All sizzle and no roast

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

Smoke gets in your eyes.

Sandwich Fail

Murphy's Slaw.

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

Fire In Restaurant