Culinary Calamitizer Pillows

Firemen called to a cooking accident.

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Roasted

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

Disaster in the kitchen.

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

Bake off: Flan B

'My hero!'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I'm here to fix the lasagne."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"I've burnt the roast...Turn down the restaurant lighting a touch!"

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"Oh my god- the salad's on fire!"

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

Smoke gets in your eyes.

"The recipe said to stand in hot water for ten minutes."

Sandwich Fail

'Don't worry, it's all dark meat.'

Murphy's Slaw.

All sizzle and no roast

"Careful, I'm spilling your shrimp bisque all over the place."

'Let's sit in front of the fire.'

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

Fire In Restaurant