Cue Sports Aficionado Gifts

Vinnie's Billiards: 'Heck of a break, Ron!'

"That's not all, general! At the current trajectory, we're headed directly for a black hole!"

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

The Harper Plays Cricket.

Cristiano Ronaldo

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Pole Vault Rules

First Prize!

Football.

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

A skier and a paraglider

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Sounds like it'll flop.'

101 uses of a dead cat: spring board.

Fox hunting.

Multitasking executive dog

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

Classic Halftime Shows (Super Bowl III)

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

Soccer player being showered with toilet roles and a toilet.