Cue Sports Lover Gifts

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

If nobody had invented graphics

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

Mixed Doubles.

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

Ratminton

Gary turns 40.

Saving a Heart

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"How should we divide the teams?"

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."