Cue Sports Enthusiast Gifts

'Brown into the top pocket.'

The Dangers of Snooker.

"I think he's gone a bit OTT with the social distancing!"

I like the Jets...I guess

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

Monica Seles

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

A day at the transgenic races

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"How should we divide the teams?"

Saving a Heart

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Gary turns 40.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."