Cubicle Jester Gifts

'So you want a transfer to a department that is intellectually challenging?'

'We've got depth. If injuries hit our starting lineup, we go to the bench. If the bench depleted, we go to the cubicles.'

"Come on, you can get up. Just think about that nice soft swivel chair down at the office."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'I'm sure that once the 'new hire' stigma fades, they'll warm up a bit,,,'

"We couldn't give you a bigger office, so we shrunk everything down to make it appear bigger."

"Am I being downsized?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Overworked in the office

40 Days without an on-the-job conversation.

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Thanks to the huge bonus, I find myself forced to admire you.'

National Boss Monument.

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Work Slave

Man suffering from rope burn due to climbing the corporate ladder

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"I tell you, it's a jungle out there!"

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

Do not think outside the box!

"He said his screen is frozen again."

Busy day at the office.

Whack, Out of Whack.

'Walter, stop fantasizing and get back to your desk.'

'I'm not here looking for a job. I'm the temp who's replacing you when the boss fires you today.'

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'