Cubicle Creatures Gifts

Natural Cycles in the Office Environment

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Another day at work would be one too many...

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

Inout baskets.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

Computer monitor for a head.

Work Slave

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

It's a dogs life

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Working 9 to 5.

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"O.K., if you put it that way."

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Office Weather

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"