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Natural Cycles in the Office Environment

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

Another day at work would be one too many...

Office slaves.

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Inout baskets.

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

Work Slave

Computer monitor for a head.

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

It's a dogs life

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

Office Weather

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

"O.K., if you put it that way."

Working 9 to 5.

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"