Cubicle Chameleon Gifts

Corporate Camouflage.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Keep up the good work, whatever it is, whoever you are."

The Corporate Rat.

'They'll tell you this is an open office workspace, but watch out for the invisible fences.'

"It's another day, Phil. Planning to suit up?"

'I'm 43 years old. That's 64 in work years.'

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

'Are these billable hours?'

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

Computer neck.

Stacked In Tray

"Damn! Just as my inertia was starting to build up momentum."

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

'We were able to make a quick alliance together because of common insecurities.'

"Word is that since we increased your case load, you've been living at the office."

Natural Cycles in the Office Environment

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

"I can always tell a permanent temp from a temporary temp."

'Quite frankly sir, I think you're stifling my creativity.'

'Let's rock!'

"It's a stealth suit. So I can stay off the boss's radar."

There's got to be more to life than just sitting at a desk...

Sit and Deliver

"So this is hell? It looks just like my old cubicle."

"Show some appreciation when he comes home: he spends his days in a small cubicle staring at numbers on the screen. He puts up with a lot in order to feed us."

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

'Then I said, ‘This is crazy. You can't force me to work overtime.''

'Couldn't you, and your ... your naked fur go sit somewhere else?'

'Felworth, until you've completed your management training program, I'll have to ask you not to fool around with your desk.'

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'