Cubicle Contemplators Gifts

"I really didn't enjoy working five days a week, fifty weeks a year for forty years, but I needed the money."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"My email is down... talk to me."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Office slaves.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

Inout baskets.

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

Computer monitor for a head.

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

It's a dogs life

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"O.K., if you put it that way."

Working 9 to 5.

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"