Cubicle Contemplator Gifts

"I've wasted my life."

Employee not inspired by corporate message about logging onto computer.

In-trays 'In' & 'Fighting'.

Men in office, pose as Rodin's: The Thinker. A sign on the wall reads: THINK.

"Some people say I'm a dreamer. Some say I fall asleep at my desk."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

Office slaves.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

Inout baskets.

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

Computer monitor for a head.

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"