Cubicle Contemplators T-Shirts

"I really didn't enjoy working five days a week, fifty weeks a year for forty years, but I needed the money."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Is that the sweet smell of success or some imitation air freshener?'

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"On the plus side, I finally have a key to the executive washroom."

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

Office slaves.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

'The boss put his picture up to enspire us. But it just isn't having that effect on me.'

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

Inout baskets.

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

"We should have taken the cubicles."

Man at desk has a desk tray labeled "In one ear,' and another labeled "Out the other."

Computer monitor for a head.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'We believe in using performance-enhancing drugs here.. they're called bonuses.'

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

'He takes his organization chart seriously.'

It's a dogs life

"Suppose you tell me why you want to be a faceless drone at Globatron Inc.?"

'Mr. McCoy has been expecting you. If you'll have a seat, he should be with you within the next 6 hours.'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.